“You are so incompetent as a woman sometimes, Sophie.”
“Sophie, you know that I despise this kind of verbalized sentimentality. Stop before I vomit.”
“Pour me a cup of coffee, woman.”
“So help me I’ll kill you.”
People communicate closeness in various ways and in the case of “Friends of the Heart: Communication between Long-Term Friends”, the communication between Sophie and Jay is very unique. After their 13 years of friendship, Sophie liked to say that had they been heterosexual, theirs would have been a classic case of love at first sight.
Both having been through a great deal of heartbreak, they felt very comfortable with each other and established a relationship in which they often delighted themselves in arguing and went to great lengths to prove the other wrong.
“Thelma”, Jay yelled, “let’s drive off this cliff!”
“Did you call me ‘Thelma’, Thelma?”
“To tell you the truth, Louise, I don’t know which one’s which. You be whoever you need to be. You be Angelina, I’ll be Brad. Hell, you be Brad, I’ll be Angelina.”
The level of closeness between these two sets their relationship apart. They are able to engage in physical closeness as they enjoy road trips together, as well as communicate their closeness in ways that may not seem affectionate, but are direct emotional expressions for them.
“I love you too Sophie…I only thought about killing you twice today.”
Though many concepts could be used to describe the communication in this relationship, I think that the most notable characteristic between Sophie and Jay is their idiomatic behaviors. Idiomatic behaviors have a specific meaning only to the people in a particular relationship and reflect the level of closeness they share.
“Don’t stop at bars, don’t blow up any oil trucks, and for Gods sake, don’t go near any cliffs.”
I’m pretty sure that most people have some type of relationship that resembles that of Sophie and Jay. Whether it’s a romantic partner or a friend, after many years of getting to know each other we all develop a closeness that we express in different ways. Sometimes closeness is expressed through compliments and praise, assurances, immediacy, social support, etc. and sometimes it’s expressed in ways that only those involved understand. Regardless, as cognitive valiance theory suggests, closeness is created by two people through a series of moves and countermoves.
IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO
The part of your analysis where you speak to affection being expressed in ways that only those involved understand describes this case well. It ties in well with idiomatic behaviors. That is a good way to sum up Sophie & Jay.
ReplyDeleteDarla Corrigan
Yes this case is an excellent example of idiomatic behaviors as expressions of relational closeness. Like Dr. Littlejohn said in the lecture sometimes teasing can be a sign of affection if delivered in an idiomatic way, however for many people this can get old fast, for Sophie and Jay it does not get old and has become the pattern of their very loving and caring relationship.
ReplyDelete-Cezanne Sanchez
You're right about the teasing being a sign of affection. Sometimes teasing isn't understood in that way though and I have seen people get their feelings hurt. There definitely needs to be an understanding of behaviors between the people involved to avoid confusion and hurt. I love how these friends act. You can see how close they are and friendships like that are very rare.
ReplyDeleteYour case study analysis presented wonderful examples of idiomatic behaviors as expressions of relational closeness. I liked your quotes and video chip you always do a wonderful job of tying in outside examples into the case study that you are analyzing. I love that this couple teases each other when they are trying to show affection.
ReplyDeleteGreat Post!!
Rachael Gabehart
You did A great on your post i liked how you used alot of great examples of Idiomtaic behavior as expressions. I really enjoyed reading your post. Great job.
ReplyDeleteNaysa Rios