Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

    Mirror, Mirror on the wall:  Weight, identity, and self talk in women is a story that underlines issues of body image, identity, intrapersonal communication, race/ethnicity, and self esteem.  This story is about a girl whose self-esteem is completely warped by the notion of being thin and is convinced by her self talk that she is fat, which controls her life and relationships.  Her desire to be thin is overwhelming and she’ll do whatever it takes to be at her desired weight, even if it means sacrificing years of her life. 

    This story is a perfect example of how personal identities affect us throughout life and how our identities are formed based on verbal and non-verbal messages we send about ourselves and how other people respond to them.  The girl in this story has formed her identity based on the American culture to be thin and the image she portrays to others as a thin, beautiful girl.  However, her vision of self is very negative.  She is always evaluating herself and trying to achieve specific goals, which effect her identity.  

    It is known that women internalize the cultural standard of thinness and use that standard to judge themselves.  When they don’t measure up to that standard, it begins to effect their self esteem and self confidence, which creates identities that are not only shaped by how others see us, but by how we see ourselves.  This particular case is seen everyday among many women in the United States, and just as in this story, many women hide behind a false identity in their self-presentations.

    All six principles of Identity Management apply to this story.  Identity and the hierarchical structure is the first principle that applies to this story.  Her friends see some of the issues she has with how she looks, but the other people in her class don’t see the struggles she’s facing so biased opinions about her may occur.  Identity and the looking glass self is also applicable. This occurs as she still visualizes what happened to her when she was young and has formed her identity on the incidence of being made fun of for being fat when she was in the third grade.  Identity and the interpretation of feedback is seen when her friends are saying she’s having another one of her “fat days”, but also telling her she is thin and she is beautiful, therefore adhering to the belief that thin equals beautiful.  Identity, expectations, and behavior is seen when she is only eating vegetables and going to the gym, which are the characteristics to losing weight and being thin.  Identity and self-evaluation is seen when she is evaluating her meals and telling herself that she is fat and gained five pounds in one day because of what she ate.  As a result, she begins to tell herself that she is a failure and has no will power.  Identity and goal achievement is clear in the sense that she weighs 120 pounds and will do anything to be 110.  She is constantly telling herself that she needs to weigh 110 pounds, telling herself that unless she is at that weight then she is fat. Thus, her identity is suffering because she has yet to meet her goals.  Finally, her identity and relationships is seen with the friends that she is spending time with and comparing herself to.  Her friends already expect her to act the way she does and when she is in one of her “moods” they compliment her and tell her what she needs to hear.  She spends time with people that “up” her self esteem.  They tell her she’s thin and beautiful, they ask her where she is going to lose weight from, etc. which in some way makes her feel better, but still she struggles with self.

    This is a very realistic story showing how many women and young girls feel.  It portrays a lot of the issues that women are faced with when forming identities even from childhood.  Young girls’ identities are mostly formed on being ‘pretty’, as children we are always hearing how pretty we are, how pretty we look, etc.  In middle school and high school we learn that to be thin and pretty is to be popular. In college we see that being pretty allows us to have more attention and gain better opportunities. As grown women we are under the impression that thin is better and pretty is everything.  As a result, our identities and self esteems will at times suffer.